


I am Five's complete lack of surprise

by Spellina



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 09:31:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spellina/pseuds/Spellina
Summary: Did you ever wonder how Five knew Vanya was the one who destroyed the house, when he didn't even know she had powers to begin with?Well I got inspired.And it starts with a kiss.(Five POV)





	I am Five's complete lack of surprise

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, it's the very first time I publish anything in English, so pardon my French. (pun very much intended)   
> Never hesitate to correct me I'd be very grateful.
> 
> This little thing kind of wrote itself, I hope you like it :)
> 
> PS: yes the title is a reference to Fight Club but we should not be talking about it.

It started with a kiss when they were really, really young. More than one actually.

Five was very advanced for his age. He was an adult in his mind.

So it made sense that when Vanya hurt her knee, he immediately jumped to her side and kissed it better. It was only in the interest of stopping her from crying and making all the furniture fall down. She looked at him like he did something shocking. He didn’t. He was being the adult. He’d seen Mom do it to Number Two and it worked. But maybe Number Seven was too young to know that, so he explained:

« There. I kissed it better. I took the pain away. »

« No you didn’t! »

What a stubborn child, Five thought.

« Yes, I did. Pay attention. Now it hurts, » he kissed her scratched knee again « and now it doesn’t anymore. »

She looked baffled at that miracle for a second.

« Oh yeah, » she agreed finally.

His job done, Five left.

* * *

 

It was maybe a year later when Five got out of a fight with Number One with a split lip. He was still sulking about it and already plotting his revenge, when Number Seven saw his frown and surprised him with a kiss.

« Eeew! Why did you do that? »

It was his first kiss, but that didn’t matter. The important part was that even if he considered himself an adult, Five was very much going through his «  _eeeew, girls!_  » phase. It didn’t help that it hurt a little bit.

« I kissed it better, » explained Number Seven, puzzled at his reaction.

What a stupid, stupid child. And now his lip was bleeding again because he’d swiped that demon’s saliva too harshly.

« No you didn’t, it hurts even more now! »

And then she kissed him again! The nerve of that child!

« Stop it! »

Seven unconsciously licked the blood on her bottom lip.

« Am I doing it wrong? » she asked.

« Yes! »

« It’s weird, it worked with Number Two. »

She did that to Number Two, too? What was wrong with this kissing devil?!

« Number Seven, » Five scolded, « you don’t kiss people on the lips! »

« Why not? » she asked, alarmed at this new piece of information.

« Because... eeew! »

« Why ew? »

« Because it’s _gross_. »

« Kissing is gross? »

« Kissing _you_ is gross! »

« That’s mean! »

« Well it’s true. »

« Na-ah, Two, Four and Six kissed me before! »

Dear lord, this evil little thing was kissing her way through the entire family! Five got really upset. She had stolen his first kiss and he wasn’t even hers. He might even get _cooties_.

« Well that’s because everybody’s afraid of you and your powers! »

So that was a bit much.

Number Seven looked very upset. The room started roaring and Five got alarmed, ready to jump. But suddenly it stopped. She was about to cry when she left.

* * *

 

Seven wasn’t to be seen for a few weeks.

Five didn’t mind it the first time she wasn’t there for dinner, he was still very cross with her. But then Sir Reginald told them she was sick. He first thought was that it served her right, he hoped she caught the cooties. He also worried he might get them too. But then he wondered if it wasn’t because of what he had said to her. But surely that wasn’t possible. She was gone a long time. Five had time to switch between worried guilt and reassured indifference. At some point he asked his father if he could see her, but his request was denied.

Finally she came back.

He went to ask her if she was still mad about what he had said to her, she didn’t know what he was talking about. He reminded her, but she answered that she was ordinary.

She never was the same.

* * *

 

Five knew deep down that Number Seven had powers at one point. He had a very good memory. He just told himself she had asked their Father to take away her powers because she simply didn’t want them anymore. He told himself that story to wash the guilt away when he tried to fall asleep. He had nothing to do with it. It was her decision. She kept identifying herself as ordinary. He just had to accept it. A bit like for a sex change, time did its work. He started thinking of her as an ordinary person. There were so few memories of her being extraordinary compared to those where she wasn’t, a few years later he'd already started forgetting she ever was, in fact, extraordinary.

* * *

 

But then, so many decades later, he told her « because you’re ordinary » and something ticked inside his mind. Something that told him that the very reason she was the first he wanted help from was because he knew she wasn’t ordinary at all.

And the hurt in her eyes when he said that sentence puzzled him a little.

He had read that book of hers more times than the Pope ever read the Bible. He had read it so many times, that her version of the events actually took over his own memories. She was defending her right to be ordinary as she would a sexual orientation. He was respecting that. It certainly wasn’t lying when he said it was ballsy. Vanya had every right to be ordinary. He knew their pretense of a father had punished her for it, but did she actually internalize his negative connotation of the word to the point it still hurt her after the old man died?

But all of that was his subconscious talking. He wasn’t even really aware of it.

Just as he wasn’t really aware why he did, truly, come to her. And it had nothing to do with powers or the Apocalypse.

He sort of hoped she would kiss him better now.

But maybe that was yet another power he took away from her.

* * *

 

So in the end, it’s really no surprise Five didn’t need to be told Vanya had powers when he saw their house demolished.

Of course it was her. He already knew.

This whole thing had been his fault all along.


End file.
